The last thing a mom needs…

Becoming a mom is life altering, it turns the woman’s life upside down, may be that’s why it is said to be the rebirth of a woman when she gives birth to her baby!!

Right from the moment she sees the two pink lines, the mommy journey begins & it is never ending. Growing a life inside her is tiring, while she undergoes several physical, mental & hormonal changes. She grows along with the fetus, preparing herself to be the best mom in the world!!

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The day she delivers the baby, she is numb & tired. Most moms can’t feel the happiness yet, while all the people around are celebrating. The first few days are overwhelming & a new mom could use all the support that comes her way!! The constant feeding sessions, diaper changes, burping, sleepless nights, etc. while taking care of her healing body is too much for a new mom to handle all by herself.

I had all the support I needed, but I wish I had control over few things which would have made the transition even more easier for me & my kids.

Just putting down some points to keep in mind while talking or visiting a new mom & her baby.

Don’t rush!

The mom & the baby are getting to know each other, bonding over feeding, latching, burping, sleeping, changing diapers, etc. It is overwhelming for the whole family, while they try to put their life back together. The last they want is visitors.

Yes, everyone is eager to be a part of the happiness, the intentions are understood, but it can definitely wait. Before visiting make sure that the family is ready to have guests, else wait till they are.

Be Considerate..

While being a new mom, I would cringe when some visitors would directly want to hold the baby without being considerate about washing their hands before doing it.

It’s a tiny human, who just stepped into the world & yet to adapt to the surroundings. Being clean around the baby is very important. Wash your hands before you hold the baby. Don’t smoke before visiting the baby or while around the baby.

Most importantly, if the mom & baby are resting or the baby is feeding while you visit, please be considerate to wait till they are ready, rather than barging in!

The mom & the baby are getting to know each other, bonding over feeding, latching, burping, sleeping, changing diapers, etc. It is overwhelming for the whole family, while they try to put their life back together. The last they want is visitors.

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Be Supportive

A new mom could use all the support that comes her way. Offer to help in any way possible, not all moms have the support they need.

Cook a meal or two for the family, do the laundry, fold the clothes, clean around the house, do the dishes or anything that would make the life of a new mom even a little easier! Don’t expect the limelight to be on you, wanting tea, coffee & snacks to be offered. Instead offer to make tea/ coffee for the family. It will definitely be appreciated!

DON’T COMPARE!

The new mom doesn’t want to hear your experience or anyone else’s experience of having a baby. Don’t ask if she had a vaginal delivery or C-Section, don’t compare it with any other delivery. Don’t compare the baby with any other baby for being thin or fat, dark or fair, small eyes or big eyes, or just anything!! Each baby is unique, each mom’s experience is unique. It is unfair to compare!!

My elder one is 3yr 4months old & she has always been on the leaner side. But people haven’t stopped worrying about why she isn’t putting on weight. I don’t care now, but back to when I was a new mom it hurt me to hear that my baby is thin. Not that I was worried about it as long as my baby was happy & active, but people taunting me over her weight, asking if I ever feed her anything, wasn’t fair. Most annoying thing was when people advised me to feed formula for her, as my milk wasn’t sufficient. Else why on earth will she still be lean!! Of course everyone knew my baby better than me!!

Experiencing it all over again with my second one who is 1yr 4months old bow & I don’t care! What I feed my kids, how I choose to raise them is no one else’s business!!

Why can’t people ever get over their own picture of a perfect baby. This has to stop!! Stop comparing the baby to the perfect baby picture in your mind!!

Just because someone’s else kid started talking at 1, doesn’t mean the kid who hasn’t started talking yet is lagging behind. The same applies to all the milestones like rolling over, crawling, walking, etc.

Each child is different, each child attains the milestones at different paces. It isn’t a competition!

Finally, the last thing a new moms needs is…

BEING JUDGED!

Stop judging a new mom!

Why does it matter if she had a vaginal delivery or a C-Section?

Why does it matter if she is breastfeeding her baby or formula feeding?

Why does it matter if she is keeping her baby on diapers all day or not?

Why does it matter if she is co-sleeping or not?

Why does it matter if she has lost her post pregnancy weight or not?

All that a mom wants is to give the best for the baby, does what is best for them & the last thing she wants is to be judged!! So stop it right now!! Be conscious not to judge her, be kind to her!!

I will surely keep all of the above points in mind in my encounters with a new mom & make the experience for her as smooth as possible. I hope all of us can be just be a bit more considerate towards a new mom & baby. They will definitely appreciate it!!

Becoming a mom is an overwhelming experience, let’s not make it harder even if we can’t do anything to make it easier.

Let’s be kind…

A Year in an Unknown Land…

Yes, it has been exactly a year since we moved to USA! When I look back, it has been an overwhelming experience!!

Moving to USA was expected, but we had very little time to shop, pack & move as the number of days between confirmation & flying was very less. Two small kids, very little help, but we did get through it all successfully or rather just managed to. Flight journey was smoother than expected, thanks to all the snacks & juice they provided on the journey which kept my elder one excited throughout! My younger one was manageable as well, as he was just 4 months & slept through most of the journey.

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We stayed in a hotel for a week before moving into our apartment, it was snow everywhere!! Then battle with jet-lag began. It wasn’t much of a problem with my younger one as he was already sleeping almost throughout the day, but the elder one would be awake all night treating herself with muffins!! It took more than a month for us to get to a routine, but we were bound indoors, thanks to the weather! It only made things worse for the first few months, when we didn’t have our own car either!

It was so depressing to stay indoors in a completely unknown place with 2 tiny human-beings demanding attention all the time, while all that we saw & heard on News was about hate crimes! I can’t even put down in words the state we were in, struggling to put our life back together in a foreign land.

Things got better when the winter was about to end, got to meet few nice people & made some friends for life!! Then came another blow on the onset of spring when my younger one, who was 7 months old by then, fell sick & had a hard time breathing! Rushed him to the doctor, he was given nebulizer & then had to on inhaler once in 4 hours for few days. We had to take care that he didn’t catch cold, as it always led to wheezing, then we had to take the help of the inhaler.

All through summer, we had a great time! We could go out a lot, went for swimming, to play areas, etc. and of course could finally meet a lot of people. My kids who couldn’t step out in winter, were having a great time in summer! We had a trip to the nearby zoo, which my elder one enjoyed a lot as she was just learning about animals & was excited to see all of them she has seen on books & videos! Planning to go there as often as possible.

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Then a trip to Disneyland in Florida was an amazing experience! We had to walk a lot throughout the 3 days we spent there, but it will remain one of the most memorable trips so far! It was a lot of fun!

Fast Forward to this day, can say we have settled pretty well & kids have also taken it really well!

The last one year has been a huge turning point in our life. Have learnt a lot about ourselves, which we wouldn’t have been able to, if not for moving to a new place, away from all the comforts we had back in India. The comfort of having our families to fall back on whenever we needed them, we don’t have it here. Though we miss having them around & can’t wait to move back to our comfort zone, being alone has made both of us stronger & confident than ever! We are sure we can manage any storm together as a family! Now we can’t wait back to move back to our country, which we are expecting to happen in another few years. But have a lot more to experience before we take the plunge again.

Personally, it has be a year of self-realization and self improvement. I have been laying my hands on learning a lot of things and definitely proud of whatever I manage to accomplish in the little time I get! I still have a long way to go!

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Looking forward to another year of surprises and experiences. 🙂

Happy New Year!

Wishing you all a very happy New Year!!

A New Year is the perfect time to reflect at the year gone by, analyze the good & bad that happened, carry the lessons learnt, make changes where ever necessary & move forward to the next year with lot of hopes, not to forget the resolutions!! We follow the resolutions or not is secondary, but making them is the first step towards a better life, for ourselves, our families & the world!!

If I had to define my 2017, I would call it a ride on a scary roller coaster without a seat belt!! That is what it was!! Where I didn’t know what was in store, how things would be, but decided to take the plunge of moving to a new country with 2 small kids. I still don’t know if it was the best decision for us, but it definitely has been an overwhelming experience. I have learnt loads & loads, tried to move out of my comfort zone, most importantly managed to unlearn so many things to be able to learn what is better!!

I have had both the best and worst times in 2017, was indeed an eventful year!! But we stuck together & managed to get through every thick and thin as a family. I’m so glad my kids are managing well along with us.

Coming to resolutions, I have many!! For the betterment of myself, my family & of course the world! While the rest are too personal to share, I would like to share what I want to do to give back to nature. Like many drops make an ocean, even a small change in our lifestyle can have a huge impact towards nature.

We can’t change our habits overnight, but we can definitely start working towards the change. What I’m talking here is about being eco-friendly. I’m learning my ways to change, there are loads of things I didn’t even know impacted mother nature so much, which I wasn’t even aware of or rather took for granted!!

There are loads of sources available online on ways to go eco friendly. We are gaining a lot from nature everyday, we need to give back too. We have to start somewhere, let’s take one step at a time. Be conscious about leaving minimum carbon footprint on the planet, we need to leave a healthy world for the younger generations.

I have already started moving towards an eco friendly lifestyle & will do more! This is my most important resolution for 2018, to be a role model for my kids.

Hope you have an amazing year!! Happy New Year once again!! Let’s make this world a better place for everyone to live peacefully.